Estate Planning for Unmarried Couples: What You Should Know

25 November 2025

Let’s talk about something most couples don’t love chatting about: estate planning. It’s not exactly dinner-date material, right? But if you’re in a committed, long-term relationship and not legally married, it's absolutely something you have to pay attention to. The truth is, the law doesn’t always recognize your love without a marriage certificate—and that can cause real problems down the line.

So if you're building a life together but haven’t walked down the aisle, estate planning becomes a whole new ballgame. Let’s dive into what unmarried couples should know to protect each other financially, legally, and emotionally when the unthinkable happens. Grab your coffee—we're about to make estate planning a little more... human.

Why Estate Planning Matters More for Unmarried Couples

When you're married, a lot of default legal protections automatically kick in. Your spouse can make medical decisions for you, inherits everything without a will in many cases, and is generally legally recognized as your "person." But if you're unmarried? You’re invisible in the eyes of the law.

Without a proper estate plan, your partner could be shut out—no matter how many years you've lived together, shared bills, or raised kids. Scary, huh?

Let’s break down why this is such a big deal for unmarried partners.

No Automatic Rights

If you’re not legally married and something happens to you—like sudden illness or, heaven forbid, death—your partner might not even be allowed in the hospital room, let alone have any say in your care.

Family Can Step In (Even If You Don’t Want Them To)

Without legal documents stating your wishes, your family (parents, siblings, etc.) could end up making critical decisions or inheriting everything—even if your partner is the one who knows you best.

The Law Defaults to Blood or Legal Ties

Intestate succession laws (the “default” rules for people who die without a will) usually don’t recognize unmarried partners. Instead, your assets could go to distant relatives rather than the love of your life.

Key Components of an Estate Plan for Unmarried Couples

Okay, so how do you protect each other? It all starts with getting the right documents in place. Don’t worry—this isn’t about lawyer-speak or endless paperwork. It's about making sure the person you love isn’t left out in the cold.

1. Create a Will

This is ground zero for estate planning. A will lets you:

- Name your partner as a beneficiary
- Appoint guardians if you’ve got kids
- Choose an executor to manage your estate

Without it, the state decides who gets your stuff. Spoiler: it's not your partner.

2. Set Up a Living Will and Health Care Proxy

A living will outlines your preferences for medical treatment if you can't speak for yourself. Think: Do you want life support? Feeding tubes?

A healthcare proxy (aka medical power of attorney) lets your partner make medical decisions for you if you’re incapacitated. This document is especially crucial because hospitals typically turn to next-of-kin.

Pro Tip: Talk this out with each other—don’t just sign forms. Make sure you both know each other's wishes.

3. Grant Power of Attorney

This gives your partner the legal ability to handle your finances if you’re ever unable to. They’ll be able to pay bills, manage bank accounts, and make decisions on your behalf.

Without this? Your partner may have to go to court to get permission—even just to access shared assets.

4. Update Beneficiary Designations

Some assets (retirement accounts, life insurance, payable-on-death bank accounts) bypass your will altogether. You have to name your partner as the beneficiary directly.

It’s such a small step, but so easy to overlook.

Quick Win: Log into those retirement or insurance accounts today and double-check your listed beneficiaries. It’s a five-minute favor for your future.

5. Think About a Trust

If things are a little more complicated—like kids from previous relationships or significant assets—you might want to look into creating a trust.

Trusts offer more control over how and when your assets are distributed. Plus, they can help avoid probate court, which is both slow and expensive.

Joint Ownership: Yes or No?

Unmarried couples often ask whether they should just own everything jointly to make things simple. It's a solid strategy for some assets, especially homes or bank accounts.

But it isn’t perfect.

Pros of Joint Ownership:

- The asset automatically transfers to the surviving owner (no will needed)
- Easy to set up—usually just a quick form

Cons of Joint Ownership:

- It limits flexibility—especially if the relationship ends
- It may have unintended tax consequences
- It can get messy if one of you wants to sell or borrow against the asset

Bottom line: Talk to a financial planner or estate attorney before signing over everything jointly. It’s a powerful tool, but only when used wisely.

Estate Taxes and Gifting: What You Should Know

Married couples can pass unlimited assets to each other without estate taxes, thanks to something called the “marital deduction.” Unmarried couples? Not so lucky.

Here’s what that means:

Estate Taxes Could Hit Hard

If your estate is large (think high-value home, retirement accounts, etc.), your partner might owe taxes on what they inherit.

Gifting Isn't Unlimited

Want to give your partner a chunk of money now? As an unmarried couple, you’re subject to annual gift tax limits. (In 2024, that limit is $17,000 per person—up to $34,000 for couples, if you both gift.)

That doesn’t mean you can’t plan for generosity—you just have to do it wisely.

Kids, Pets, and Digital Assets: Oh My!

Estate planning isn’t just about money. It’s about everything you care about, including the non-human family members.

What About the Kids?

If you’re raising kids together, estate planning is extra important. You’ll need:

- Guardianship designations
- Financial trustees
- Agreements on custody and care

And if one partner is the biological parent? Make sure the other has legal rights through adoption or guardianship.

Don’t Forget the Pets

Fido needs a plan, too! You can name a caregiver and even set aside money for pet care in your will or trust.

Your Digital Life Matters

Think about it: Bank accounts, emails, social media, crypto, digital photos. Create a digital asset plan with access info and instructions for managing or closing accounts.

Communication Is Key (Yes, Even When It’s Uncomfortable)

Estate planning can get awkward. Nobody loves talking about worst-case scenarios, money, or legal mumbo jumbo. But open, honest communication is the real foundation here.

Have regular check-ins about your goals, fears, and wishes. Update your estate plan every few years—or anytime big life events happen (new home, baby, job change, etc.).

And please, whatever you do—don’t keep it a secret. Make sure your partner knows:

- Where to find your important documents
- Who your attorney or planner is
- What your wishes are (and why)

When Should You Start?

Honestly? Yesterday.

Estate planning isn’t just for the elderly, sick, or super-wealthy. If you’re sharing a life—even just emotionally or financially—you need a plan in place.

Life is unpredictable. A good estate plan is like a safety net you hope you never need but will be eternally grateful for if you do.

Who Can Help?

You don’t have to go it alone. Sure, you could do some of it DIY-style, especially with so many online tools available now. But when it comes to something as personal and vital as your legacy? It’s often worth bringing in the pros.

- Estate Planning Attorneys: Essential for custom plans, especially with real estate, trusts, or complex family situations.
- Financial Advisors: Help you align your money with your long-term goals.
- Tax Pros: Guide you through the maze of estate and gift tax planning.

Final Thoughts: Love Deserves Legal Backing

You might not have a wedding ring or matching last names. Maybe you’re not into big ceremonies or you just don’t believe in tying the knot. That’s totally fair.

But your love? It’s still real. Your life together matters. And with the right estate plan, you ensure that what you’ve built survives the worst of days.

So let’s flip the script—estate planning isn’t about dying. It’s about loving intentionally. It’s how you say, “I’ve got your back. Always.”

Go get your plan in place. Future-you (and your partner) will be forever grateful.